The Power To Change Your Outcome

MINDSET…OR THE POWER TO CHANGE YOUR OUTCOME

I had the opportunity to attend a play the other night that was put on by a well-respected theatre group based in Heidelberg, Melbourne.  The reason for my invitation was that the assistant director is my nephew (and Godson).  The invitation was sprung on me suddenly and my circumstances around attending this play were not ideal. Let me share….

I have very recently commenced a new position which requires me to commute and stay in Melbourne 2 days per week (I live on the NSW border, Murray River territory).  Whilst I am pleased to have this position it does interfere with other business activities that I have, and as such I generally take my own work with me to Melbourne to complete in the evenings.  This trip was no exception, and I had some time sensitive work with me which was feeding my natural anxiety affliction.  On top of this it was “end of month” which creates quite a bit of pressure at my new Melbourne position.

All in all, attending a play was really the last thing I wanted to do!

I was feeling travel weary, I was tired, I was stressed and thinking about that time sensitive project that wasn’t getting done.  I felt obliged to go to the play. However, I also was pleased to get the opportunity to see one of my nephew’s plays as I had never had the chance to do so, living so far away.

Can you relate to this scenario?  That sense of pressure coming from every direction, and trying to be all things at once.  You get it all done, you see it through, but you feel frazzled and grumpy doing it.

So that was me, I arrived at the theatre cool and collected, exchanging pleasantries, but actually feeling totally frazzled and grumpy.  The play was a comedy and I was thinking to myself I could do with a laugh, it better be funny!  As you could imagine, I am sitting in theatre and the play starts, I am in this Adrenalin fed grumpy mindset and the play just all seemed very silly. Grump, grump!

That’s when I thought, I have a choice.  We always have a choice.  We may feel limited by the circumstances around us but we are always in control of the ultimate outcome from those circumstances.

I changed my mindset.  I told myself, “You cannot change the fact that you are here so resign yourself to it and relax”.  I then asked myself, “What is a good outcome that could happen from being here”?

I then relaxed.  I focused on how good it was to be able to be there and support my nephew.  That this opportunity had arisen while I was on one of my Melbourne trips and I didn’t have to make any extra effort, how lucky was that.

The play then started to be entertaining and funny.  I became so much more aware.  I started to appreciate what a brilliant job these actors were doing.  I started to notice the little nuances that each actor was bringing to their performance to engage the audience.  Then, as a bonus, after interval my seating was changed and I was able to sit next to my nephew for the second half.  It was a great play, and I had a wonderful time.

I didn’t get to bed until 1.30am and I was concerned about how tired I was going to be working the next day.  But the next day went smoothly and despite being tired I achieved a great deal and even drove home that evening, a 4 hour journey.

A mindset of resistance burns a lot of energy, it makes us tired, and stressful periods become more challenging.  Resistance prevents you from experiencing the fun and pleasures of life.  Resistance also prevents you from gaining the wisdom and lessons available from the experience.

Life is full of the unexpected, inevitabilities, and situations that can’t easily be dodged.  Like Monday morning staff meetings, or parent-teacher nights.  All mixed in with the pressures of your day to day.  But the outcome of these circumstances is yours to create.  Ask yourself; what is the most useful attitude I can take right now and what possible positive outcome could occur?

You always have the power to transform the circumstance from the inside and create a positive outcome for yourself.  You create that outcome by the way you view the situation, which subtly affects the energy you give out.

That change not only alters what you become more aware of, it also alters the response from the world around you.  Whilst in reality it may seem very difficult to always be in that positive mind set, it is actually the contrast that teaches you where to find that positive state by challenging you to find a different and more useful perspective.

Marie Rose

Prophesy of Failure

THE PROPHESY OF FAILURE

Fear of failure is a particularly debilitating state of mind, it can and does freeze you in your tracks.  The problem is that the fear of failure is a self-fulfilling prophesy as it is destined to succeed.

If you succumb to the fear of failure then you do nothing to change your circumstances, or nothing to achieve that goal or desire that you would like to achieve – because you are afraid of failing.  But that is the point…if you do nothing because you are frightened it won’t work, then it won’t work and you will fail.

So, you have proven yourself right and you have succeeded in failing!

Let’s try a different scenario.  If you have a go at the thing that you are frightened of failing at…and you fail, well you haven’t lost anything because you are no worse off than if you didn’t try in the first place.

However, it is highly likely that you learned something on the way to failing.  So at the very least you will be wiser and/or more knowledgeable than you would have been if you hadn’t had a go.  So that learning is a definite written-in guaranteed bonus!

On the other hand, there is always the risk…oh we don’t like risk…that you might succeed.  Then you will have proven your fear of failure wrong, you will have failed at failure.  This might make “success” an uncomfortable place.  Maybe you don’t know what you would do with success if you got it?

Are you aware that the majority of people who win large lottery prizes have none of it left in 5 years?  Ouch!

This is how fear of failure is so closely related to fear of success.  They are not separate issues; they are the same, both sides of the one coin so to speak.  Our subconscious mind is so comfortable with what it is accustomed to.  Whilst our conscious mind is aware of what could be possible.

This is why and how we keep perpetuating the same mistakes…and then feel so confused, because we thought we knew better.  We did know better consciously, but unconsciously we seek the familiar because it is comfortable.

By knowing this we can start to look at our history differently.  And in the repetition of our mistakes and failures we can start to see the pattern of a different kind of success.

When we can stand back and start to see this pattern or design, it is at that point we can appreciate the story differently.  Then there is the opportunity to understand the plot and from there, start to write the next chapter with a movement toward a different ending.

© 2016 – Marie Rose

Horror Movie

HORROR MOVIE…IT’S THE 6.30 NEWS

For those of you who are not in Australia, you may not be aware of a famous Oz rock group from the 70’s called Skyhooks.  They had a hit called “Horror Movie” and it was all about the 6.30pm news.  That was back in the days when we had our daily news bulletins and we set aside that time, usually dinner time, to watch that day’s news.

Things have changed dramatically since then and we now have “Horror Movie” TV stations that broadcast news all day long (and night too).  There are merits to these news stations and the phone aps etc. as they give us the opportunity to stay in touch with what is happening in the world at a time that is convenient for us.  And I have no objection to catching up with a bit of news a couple of times a day and being abreast of what is happening out there.  But stop there!

The news has become a reality TV drama using the pain and suffering of others as a form of entertainment.  No different from watching a soap opera or a horror movie for entertainment.  It can make us numb to true compassion.

Most of the time, most of us can do very little to actually be of assistance to the suffering that is happening in other places.

What we can do is recognise what we have ourselves, and to experience gratitude for being in our space.  We can express that gratitude by taking each day and each opportunity that comes before us, and embracing our life and living it to the fullest capacity we are capable of right now.

The greatest way we can show gratitude for a gift is to use it…do not fall into the trap of feeling guilty because you have it and someone else doesn’t.  There has always been dreadful suffering in the world, and for now, there always will be.  Stay focused on your life, build upon it and strengthen your presence.  Be the brightest light that you are able to be in any given moment.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

(~ John 1:5 RSV)

Regardless of our circumstances, who we are or where we find ourselves, the only thing we do have complete control over is our attitude.  It is via our attitude that we are able to contribute to the light energy of the Earth.  That pool of light energy is then available to all of us to draw from.  And it is available to those who are working with the light to bring peace to those who otherwise find themselves in a situation where there appears to be very little light around.

Marie

Now, for a bit of light relief, here is Skyhooks and “Horror Movie”.

Why Can’t We Change?

WHY CAN’T WE CHANGE?

Why can’t we stick to that diet?

Why can’t we stop smoking?

Why can’t we start exercising?

Why…it’s a funny twist in our instincts.

In simple terms we have two levels to our consciousness. The first level or primary level is that which we share with animals.  An animal is conscious of itself and its need to survive. This is the consciousness of our instincts, the things we do, mostly unconsciously, to preserve our life. These instincts include the desire to be accepted and part of the pack/herd. This consciousness is aware of fear when it perceives some form of danger.

This is a pleasure seeking, pain avoiding consciousness. It learns by association.  We utilise this ability to learn by association to train animals to serve us.  For example, our pets and farm animals.  In return we supply them with a life style that is more safe and comfortable than they would be able to provide for themselves.

We also use this level of consciousness to develop our own habits. Some habits we have chosen to teach ourselves, like having a daily shower or going for a walk.  Other habits are created by our response to some sort of pain or desire such as smoking or overeating.  This pain or desire can be emotional or physical.

Either way, once the habit is entrenched we usually enjoy doing it and it is not hard to keep doing it. Regardless of whether we want to do it or not and it can be very hard to change a habit, just like it can be hard to stop your dog from digging up the garden or pulling the washing off the line.

Our second level of consciousness is the individual self-consciousness. Where we are conscious of our self and our need to survive but we are also aware that we are conscious of our self.  This added awareness gives us the desire to create as well as survive.

This level of consciousness also contains the ability to make thoughtful decisions, have self-discipline and exercise will power. These are the attributes that give us the capacity to train our own primary consciousness so that we act in a way that suits our more consciously chosen direction.

Unfortunately what often happens when we decide we want to teach our selves a new habit or change an old one is we approach ourselves with a sledge hammer firmly grasped by our will power and driven by self-discipline. Guess what, it doesn’t work (can you see the little puppy cowering with fear).  It feels very uncomfortable and we give in to the fear of ourselves.

Training or retraining our primary consciousness requires the same firmness coupled with kindness and patience that we require to train a new puppy. In fact, these days, a new terminology is being frequently used in regard to training animals and that is to “educate” rather than “train”.

So, our self-consciousness is there to educate our primary consciousness so it can serve our creative purpose. In return for achieving this service our primary desires are fulfilled to a much more comfortable level than our primary instincts can achieve by themselves.

The first exercise is to become more aware of our behaviour and what parts are servicing us and what aren’t. See if you can recognise on a day to day basis what things you do unconsciously, what things you do as a learned habit (wanted or unwanted), and what you do out of conscious decision in the present moment.

© 2016 Marie Rose